travel with me from SAHM to working mum….
I am managing to keep my promise to my blog: ie not to neglect it. However, my other aims, that of writing stories or articles, job searching and preparing for supply teaching work, are not being met. Why do I need the Damoclean sword of a deadline before I am galvanised into action? Example: can’t attend writing workshop this week: no story written. Example: course over, contact with teaching colleagues gone: desire to return to the classroom diminishes. Example: husband snares City exec. job, pressure to earn money rescinds in exact correlation to percentage of childcare duties will now be expected to perform solo.
Let’s take the first example. I like writing. I enjoy writing. I’m enjoying doing this now. When given a subject to write about I can usually come up with something readable – sometimes fiction, sometimes fact, even the odd poem. So, given a couple of hours downtime (let’s face it, I’m a SAHM, the washing, ironing, and gardening will always be a constant) why don’t I write instead of half-completing five tasks that I could do in a few minutes if a visitor was expected? Ideas come to me throughout the day. I write a few of them in a notebook given to me for this purpose by my son. I should turn to the notebook and get cracking rather than thinking: ‘no need to make time for writing this week, no one is going to be expecting me to read aloud to them’.
Second example: we had a teaching course reunion. A couple of the returning teachers have been offered jobs. Some have volunteered to work in schools or have made positive steps towards being re-employed in Education. I haven’t even up-dated my CV. If I saw a job I was interested in, or someone asked to see it, I would be energised into action. Why don’t I just do it…?
Which leads me to the third example. This period of gardening leave has been quite pleasant. In the beginning it was a little frustrating when the phone was in use, or objects I wanted were not where I’d left them; I missed my school gate chums and the odd exchange of gossip. It was fantastic when I was able to go on a full-time course, leaving the children in the care of their father. But now that the leave is coming to an end and work is in sight, there is a distinct holiday stench in the house, strengthened by the children coming to the end of term. Everyone is relaxing or partying, and generally NOT WORKING! This corrosive cloud has engulfed me and I can feel all my drive being eaten away. I need to evade it to avoid losing all the stores that I’ve built up over the last few months. I will need all my drive: creative, practical, organisational, if I am to succeed in my goal of re-joining the world of work. I will also need to be single-minded.
In short: I need a deadline.