travel with me from SAHM to working mum….

My Brain is an Engine

“Work can wait till Autumn, can’t it?”

The words echo hollowly. I’ve been so busy with end-of-term stuff that there’s little time to think of myself and gainful employment.  I did manage to write half a short story around the theme of theft last week, but this week the ocean waves were too enticing and I went sailing instead of writing about a fire.  I had the idea of writing about a boy who goes to scout camp and makes a friend around the campfire.  One guess where the idea for that came? This week’s homework is ‘camera’: inspiration has deserted me so far.

It’s not that I am mentally absorbed with the busy-ness.  I wish.  More that there is so much to ‘do’. I come in, dump some bags, get changed, go out, come in, dump some bags, get changed, go out…  All those bags and all that changing produces clutter, tidying and laundry.  (Thank god for the Brazilians who appear like mute, smiling angels every Thursday.)  Through all the action there is an idle, frustrated brain which has been recently whirring with electrical impulses.  Old, insulated neurons have been fired up and are now revving, impatient to roar off on a new road.  I can feel that it’s merely ticking over, but, because I am so busy ‘doing’, finding a clutch to help the brain change gear is just not possible.

I must ring about supply teaching. If I make a step in that direction before the holidays then it will be more difficult to make excuses in the autumn term.  Why is the secondary sector so resistant to volunteer help.  When I mentioned it at both observation schools I was viewed with suspicion.  At our recent get-together, one returner was escorted from the school for daring to offer his help unpaid.  What are they worried about?  We’re all trained professionals – probably with money in their pension pot! And it doesn’t seem to be the guys hard at it in the classrooms – more the Senior Management Teams.  Funny when I’ve spent the last decade dreaming up reasons not to help at Primary level!


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